It Won't Be Enough, Will It? (night of 13/09/2013)

I am with my cousin James in America. We are paddling in some kind of canoe boats in what appears to be a huge canal lock that has vast, steep, slippery walls.
.
I am visiting Sally who is now living in Scotland. She is living in Burnside at Kinloss, where I lived when I was 10. The dream-geography is slightly different that the waking one. She is living in a house, one of a series of houses, over the other side of the burn, in the woods. This in no way detracts from the feeling of the wood as being a wood. Deep in the trees, a childhood-myth tangle.
Sally says she has something for me - a letter from Ruth - a girlfriend from my time living in Worcester (where I also shared a house with Sally). The letter says that she has changed her name because she is now married. The letter says that she was married in 1996, before we started Worcester. This puzzles me a little as I only met her in 1997. There is also a space in the card in the shape of a sprig of mistletoe, as if this has been removed. There is also information in the letter that she was convicted of 'perverting the course of justice'. It is unclear as to whom the letter is addressed, but I am certainly connected with it.
I am fascinated. An actual physical object that was written by Ruth. I recognise the loops and curves iof her handwriting.
Sally looks at me sadly.
"It won't be enough, will it?" she says.
She says this in a disappointed tone that conveys so much; that I am obsessed with the memories of Ruth, that she hoped that this letter would end the obsession with my own past.
I try and put Sally's mind at rest, and tell her that it is not Ruth per se that I am interested in, more the feeling of reaching back through time to the past, to something that is no longer there; nostalgia, memories, echoes.
One thing does puzzle me though. The year previous, I had run into Ruth in Lewes. She had said nothing about the letter - nor that she was married. I remember the meeting was somewhat hurried and awkward. I do not tell Sally of our meeting as this would ruin the symmetry of her giving me the letter.
I walk along the burn to the edge of the woods. I look across the fields to the distant houses of the Southside estate. I am delighted to see the street lamps have just come on. I watch them pink and shimmering, little glittering jewels of childhood mystery. There is a delightful shiver of the past.
I walk back into the woods again, and jump over a small brook that feeds into the burn. I say to Sally (to myself?) how strange it is to be back, how dream-like.
Sally knocks on a friend's door, a house also in the woods. I am momentarily concerned in case it is Ruth's house, but no-one answers and it is not Ruth's house anyway.
We go back to Sally's house. I am going to have a shower before I leave, but then change my mind as I do not have enough time. I am suddenly very concerned about the time of my flight. I must catch a train to Inverness, and then a plane from there.I am not even sure how my ticket works. I am in a rush and start stuffing everything into my luggage.