Immersive Computer Game (night of 31/12/2025)

Playing a computer / arcade game. I am a figure on skates racing along station platforms. dark countryside. The game is totally and three-dimensionally all immersive. There is a lone figure stumbling down the platform. Sinister. Do I hit him as I skate by? I rush along the platforms getting faster I can feel the speed. This is exhilarating. Beyond the platforms is a dark, endless countryside. The platforms turn into a path bordered by hedges or fences. I am talking to someone at the same time headphones? The screen / world goes blank. Things are happening but I cannot see though me / my character is in no danger. I know I am attacked by werewolves. The scene changes I am in a village street ribbons hanging down from the trees. I slow down. Talking to the person (Mark?) on the phone, telling him I have turned into a woman - I feel my chest, I have not. I tell him I have not turned into a woman at all. 

I amn some kind of stairway leading down from a train station. At the bottom of the steps, a group of teenagers are acting threateningly. 'Maybe not down there!' I say to whoever I am talking to. I go out into a city street - not in the main part of town, though there are huge buildings - a bit reminiscent of Birmingham. This city is dangerous. I try to walk in an imposing manner. I come to some kind of road junction. There is a huge flood of foamy water, in which there is an equally huge fire engine (does this then resolve into a tractor belching steam?) There is a feeling I have to get somewhere, a feeling of urgency. Are the teenagers behind me? I look up and see a sign for another railway station. I will head there and get another train.

I am in some kind of bottom level multi story car park kind of affair. People are looking at boards of information. The teenagers are too, but they do not seem interested in me. I push past them and an older couple reading the boards. A figure walks towards me - one of the teenagers? - No, I see he is wearing a doctor's outfit.

Abbotsfield School At Night (night of 29/12/2025)

 Walking along the outside of the metalwork / woodwork block at Abbotsfield, possibly with Alice. It is night. On the road is an old woman, she seems to fold in half, and crawls quickly on hands and feet down into the field. I look at the field and see a group of people around a car. There is some kind of kidnap taking place. This is alarming - we need to get away. The kidnappers are following us. A loud industrial sound behind us. We may be safe in Swakeleys school. Will we be able to get in? I am sure I have done this before at night - there used to be security guards.

Works Party (night of 30/12/2025)

 Christmas party in Brighton. upstairs room full of people. Steve B from school - white shirt and tie. I am drinking Jack Daniels. I also have a pint. I make my way to talk to him, and ask him about his day, and about Phil. Steve does not quite seem excited to see me

A girl is there called Alison Grimmer. She is flirtatious with me, hands touching. I am joking about being a goth - she asks to marry me as a joke. I join in on this and realise she is flirting with me. I start a portentous narrative about our married life. I stumble over my  words - 'from winter to summer, we won't see the sun'. She seems happy by this, and does not notice my awkwardness. There is more physical contact. I go on - about cobwebs. How I don't like cobwebs, but actually I don't mind cobwebs, I explain it is that I don't like spiders. I explain in my flat I have too many spiders. I point out a tangle of headphones wire looking like spider legs. Alison seems enchanted by me. I am happy, though wondering if Alice thinks I am gay. I am thinking about saying that me and Steve have known eachother since 1986 - since school!

Another room. more people behind the bar from another department - is this a free bar? No, my other drunk was free - do I need another drink? I already have a JD - and a pint.

Looking out of the window - sunset over Brighton. we are drawn to the antics of people shouting below.

Remembering earlier - had I met Gareth for a coffee near my old flat in Hove?

An amazingly real feeling dream.

The Fan and The River (Christmas Day afternoon 2025)

 A rock path above a river. A kind of cliff to the left, and below, the river running into the rocks. There is a lonely haunted atmosphere.

I think I am with Alice. We have been here for a while - there is the feeling of some kind of scientific project we are part of? A feeling we are leaving.

The river below flows over some kind of concrete square - I see things washed over it, including an action man.

The narrow path we are on leads to a dead-end. There is water flowing along the path as well. At the end of the path is some kind of fan. I push the water along with my foot to make the fan fall into the water. It does n on t, but I feel the power of the water and am glad it is not deeper.

I want the fan to fall down into the river but it feels wrong to do this on purpose.

Collapsing Bridge Dias (night of 21/12/2025)

 Out in the countryside - roadside verge. Shouting something about this being the Inner-Shires?Running up a slope onto a wooden dias / bridge. my post-dream notes say 'sand collapses into the river below' I remember it now as being planks of wood. Anyway - whatever collapsed into the river below - I can now see iron struts instead. I am stuck on what remains of the dias. Mason runs up on the dias. He is having no problem. 'I should have known' - post dream notes. Later parts of the dream - I still seem to be stuck on the dias and also getting on with my life. Somebody says to me 'you should always have a claim in'.

Bed Clothes Come Alive (night of 20/12/2025)

 Bed clothes on my bed. My bed is in a slightly different position. The bed clothes move. Is it a rat - some animal beneath the sheets. The bed clothes rise up and become some loos fluid from of sheets that rush around my walls at alarming speed 

Work Parties (night of 19/12/2025)

 A works party. I am sat at a table I am not happy with. This has happened before. I am sat facing some kind of wall. Long benches, wooden table. The area has the feeling of some kind of huge wooden hut.

It is unclear if this is my current job or not. It has the feeling of Family Investments I worked at from 2010 - 2013.

A man is telling someone else he is in love with her. She is unhappy about this. I feel awkward overheating this.

Nostalgia for old nights out in the pub after work (remembering The Gloucester?). Not knowing what would happen or who would come out.

Flat Maintenance Issues (night of 15/12/2025)

 I am in my flat doing something with the boiler. I look at the boiler and realize that the screen has been removed. How do I fit it back? Does it just click back into place? Will I have to call the landlady?

I wake in my room. There is some kind of noise. I go to the bathroom and see that there is some kind of workman in there. I am angry. Maybe I haven't checked the post though, and the house managers sent me a letter? This seems likely - I haven't checked the post for a long time. He says that he has narrowed the problems down to this flat - the problems have been caused by a car crashing into the outside of the building.

I can see that a large section of the wall has been removed, and I can see through to other people's bathrooms - lone green toilets stood on wooden floorboards.

Two Ghost Women (night of 15/12/2025)

 in my darkened bedroom. With a shock I realize two dark ghost figures are here, standing side by side. Somehow one is turned into a young Indian woman, slightly gypsy like. I ask her if she would like a cup of tea. She says that would be nice.

Dark Christmas Song Competition (night of 15/12/2025)

 I am in a flat. A large bright room. A woman is there - possibly Zoey from Brighton. We are having some kind of Christmas competition about singing the darkest Christmas songs - this seems to involve neo-folk military pop music - the sound of martial trumpets. I look around the flat for things to use. I am determined I shall win.

The Lucid Dream House - a lucid dream(morning of 14/12/2025)

At first I am not sure if I am dreaming or not. I seem to be at my parents house - a mixture of waking ones and made up ones. I am in my bedroom. I think this seems far too real to be a dream. I lie on the floor between my bed and the wall - hold on! I always have my bed against the wall! I look at my room - the bed really is in the middle - I think how nice it would be to have my room like this in waking life. I really must be dreaming!

I open my window which looks out into a vast landscape of trees and hills - dark grey sky. There still seems to be some confusion if this is a dream or real. I watch a huge bird - I think is that a kite? - I watch it glide over and land on a tree in the next garden. I look again - is that a kite or is that an eagle? I look out back at the landscape - there appears to be a dinosaur in the distance. a UFO lazily glides through the sky.

I am downstairs looking out of the window. a man walks up - there is something about this place that seems out of time - I go to ask him what year it is but then realise I shouldn't ask characters in a lucid dream what year it is. I ask him as I am a new visitor here what I should do. I do not want to break the rules here. He starts to speak, but I cannot understand him. His words come out muffled and muddled. He asks me instead what he should do about his depression. I start to give him advice - how he should always write down when the depression begins - and I will guarantee that it will pass. he seems doubtful but I am insistent. he is with a woman who looks miserable and lifeless

I am lying on a grassy slope with other people including an unconvincing transgender woman and Freeman Agyeman from Doctor Who. I casually think about sex, - after all, this is a lucid dream, but it feels wrong somehow 

I am lying on my bed looking up the ceiling. I rub my hands together to help stabilise the dream. The ceiling starts to crack and fall away, revealing above the ceiling a network of industrial pipes. I drag myself up - I can feel the physical exertion, and haul myself up along these pipes. I see amongst the pipes a friendly looking brown dog - also there is a cow peering at me over the pipes.

I find myself on a walkway looking down onto a room. There is a dressing table on which there is a Galaxy chocolate bar. it feels like the room has been prepared for me - perhaps at my parents house? in the corner is our old dog Bruno. He barks at me and I greet him joyfully.

The Hotel Is Coming Alive! (night of 13/12/2025)

 it is a new hotel - it has been put together from old things, old spaces. A labyrinth collage. A vast square shaped maze. it has the feeling of something put together for use in some kind of training - not a real hotel. There are no residents. There is no staff.

I have occasions to enter this hotel - dark corridors, rooms and hallways. These spaces have the feel of industrial swimming pools. The rooms are dark and unnerving - a claustrophobic haunted atmosphere. I do not like it. I may sometimes glimpse others who likewise have occasion to enter the hotel like I do. the sight of these others disquiets me. An image of Adam, gliding along. I feel the urge to sing in Latin.

"The hotel is coming alive!" I shout gleefully to someone.

The hotel is busy. It is lunchtime. A people are rushing to use the toilet. Too many people queuing to use the toilet. I step back to let someone out, but a woman takes my place. It is important that I use the toilet. I have a thesis that the accidental collecting of rooms to form this hotel has created an accidental haunting. If I can get into the toilet, this will help me explore the possibilities further but I cannot.

Hot and annoyed. I walk along the main street at Langley. I think I am with Al. It is too busy to spend my lunch hours at the hotel. Sunny. I walk to the edges of Langley - nearly to the canal - paths among trees. A group of people pass from behind me. I am momentarily alarmed - perhaps they are violent? - but no, they are joggers.

Al does not seem to be with me anymore.

Perhaps on my lunch hour I can go for a short walk along the canal instead? The though offers some solace to me, though the outside does not seem quite as safe as spending my lunch hour in the hotel.

Watching a Documentary With Cinzia (morning of 13/12/2025)

 With Cinzia from YouTube, and possibly two other people.

I am looking at a drawing I am doing. it is a rough pencil sketch. I have no idea where the drawing is headed or what my plan is. I realize the drawing shows a middle-aged middle Eastern (possibly Mediterranean?). in front of him he is holding three cows (?). This is where the drawing is going! I am excited by this and look again - the drawing does not seem as cohesive. There is possibly a wall behind the man. They are in some kind of market harbour town.

The drawing becomes some kind of documentary (?) that myself and Cinzia are watching - though parts of it still seem a drawing. There is a boy hiding and running called Billy Mumford. Then there is the man again looking sad and rejected. Cinzia says it must have been awful - all of his friends and family have moved on leaving him behind - and back in his time (Napoleonic?)  there was no way of communication. He is now alone.

The documentary starts to be about the process of immigration. it seems a brutal affair. To get onto the ship, the children need to swim down some kind of underwater passage.

We are sat on some kind of grass slope - possibly leading down to some kind of building. it is sunny - though has the feeling of autumnal sun than summer. Possibly late afternoon?  Behind us shouting. A group of men - football hooligan types - walk by, and sit on the grass further down. Their presence disturbs me though they do not seem to have noticed us.

Walking in corridors - reminiscent of school corridors, maybe watching the documentary on some kind of small screen?

I accidentally brush Cinzia's hand. She squeezes it. I squeeze back. We almost go naturally to hold hands but we draw away. She makes some comment about it but does not seem unhappy it has happened.

I am rolling a huge, ridiculous joint. I am putting twigs amongst the tobacco. It is feet long. I know there are no drugs in it though.

At some kind of outside stall / food van, approaching the counter.

New Rented House (night of 07/12/2025)

 I have moved into a new rented house to start a new term at university. The house, one of others, is set down a rough dirt track. I am worried if I have set up the standing order for the rent correctly, but realize I have. There is a man in the house. He asks me to pass him a 'salad crisper' by that is in the fridge (I have no idea what a salad crisper really is).

I am with Ross. He admits that he has always been in contact with Ruth. I tell him I have always known.

Getting Off The Train (night of 07/12/2025)

 I am getting off a train. There is a large gap between the train and platform. an old man - helpful - is standing there, waiting to get on (well dressed, bowler hat?) With his encouragement I throw my rucksack into the platform - some kind of raised wooden platform made of slats. We are to swap places. I am on the platform. It slopes alarmingly, unstable 

Seaside Houses and Uxbridge Hotels (night of 02/12/25)

 I am staying in a hotel in Uxbridge with Karen. We are sat in a dark room with a number of other people - this is some kind of communal area. There are two eastern European men amongst the people. One of them slaps me on the ass. An orgy seems to be developing in the room. A naked woman. I am very angry about this situation developing in a hotel.

Me and Karen leave for another part of the hotel - this is in another building, a short while down the street. We hear back from the manager - we are getting a refund. Jason is somehow involved in this.

I am walking along a beach with Karen amongst other people - Brighton beach, though seems more Mediterranean. A bright sunny day. Blue skies. The sun. I walk to the edge of the promenade, and no look down into the clear blue water. A building extending out over the sea. A platform just beneath the water. Some kind of clustered small mechanism on the platform. I imagine sea serpents and sea monsters in the water. There is a loud roaring, mystical in nature. Something is coming from the waves.

We end up in a basement living room, sitting on crowded sofas - possibly Dendi amongst them. Karen is sat on some kind of table / shelf behind one of the sofas. I want to get to her. There is a teenage boy in the room - this is where he lives. He is eager to show me the badges he has created. He is proud of them. I cannot get to Karen without destroying his badges he has displayed on the sofa. I do not want to destroy them.

We go to another house. There is done kind of alternative BDSM festival going on in the house. I cannot work out if Karen and the others went upstairs or downstairs. The house is on different levels and is quite long.

I decide to go outside and phone Karen to find out where she is. I open the door but there are three (?) tattooists on the front step - a man and two women. The man seems crusty / alternative, and at least one of the women is a goth. They are quite friendly. I lean on the man's lap while talking to him. I say that I have always intended to get a tattoo. I fear that this makes me appear young and inexperienced. Anyone afraid of getting a tattoo might say this. One of the women says I am 'fanilla' but she means 'vanilla' - I am not alternative enough. They are all good natured though.

The man asks for my Instagram. I cannot get my phone to work - I eventually do and we become friends on Instagram.

The Man-Thing Double Page Spread in The Telegraph (night of 01/12/2025)

 The last part of a Man-Thing comic strip. A double page spread in The Telegraph newspaper. The page shows a landscape of dark green trees. I enthuse over this with Luke "Look! There is even a hill with trees on, and a man walking a dog through it!". This strikes me as being quintessentially Stuart-esque.

Something to do with a kitchen? Luke's girlfriend, Sinead? Hooded figures in the comic strip?

I discover I am in the landscape portrayed by the comic strip. I am very excited to be in a landscape that is very 'me'. I see a man cycling along the path with the trees - this seems on top of a small hillock. Below the hill - and seemingly built in the side of the hill - is some kind of church. Damp green grass. Pillars denoting an entrance to the vaults.

Everything is mysterious - if mystery is adjacent to a sense of cosiness.

The following may be an earlier (later?) part of the dream - or it may be a separate dream entirely. However... I am trying to find a seat on a plane, but all the seats are filled. Men asleep. There is a section reserved for Jewish people. I am not allowed to take a seat here.

An unhelpful line in my dream diary states "I am done with working here!" - what part of the dream this relates to I now have no idea.